Today I’m proud to launch my new website, with a Little help from my sons, my best friends.
At the same time i´m launching my Youtube channel where I step out on the stage, in my studio and I declare myself cured from stage fright, at Theatrum Mundi.
In Flow of conciousness 4 I tell the story of how Thor Heyerdahl overcame his hydro phobia, “vattuskrekk”, which he contracted, falling into a pool of water, as a young boy in Larvik.. He slipped on the rock and was trapped there. He screamed for help until he was exhusted with a hypothermia, but nobody heard him. When he was on the verge of drowning, a vanderer observed his last faint moves in the water and saved his life..
As a consequence of the NDE, near death experience, Thor Heyerdahl developed a full blown phobia for water - as a young man he hated water, a shower was utter hell, even to wash his hands was painful. As a student he was ashamed of himself, and thought he would become a crank, and decided to change, and confronted the phobia. He went to the Frogner bath i Oslo and jumped from 10 meter, he went to Bygdøy and made some tricks, he went to Geiranger. He joined the resistance forces out in the North Sea and as a culmination, long after the war, he found himself on a slowly sinking balsa raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, tied to his bed, in the middle of a storm, calmly and with full concetration, writing about his forefathers and foremothers, who navigated in the currents between the continents already during the bronce age. In Peace and in love with his phobia he explored the water ways of the early civilisations.
In a similar way I have overcome my stage fright in Webcam Paradise and can come free, as my idols from Laurel Canyon came free, Mothers of Invention, Love and Doors, as jazzartists have come free on their stages, I saw it with my own eyes and could hear it too - they came free there, in perfect time out on the stage - I wanted to do that too.
But I have had that phobia, and I have fought it with the intensity of war and peace, love and hate.
My stage fright was initiated in “Hemvärnsgården” in Lekvattnet, where my mother directed the Christmas play, as my school teacher in first grade, and I did not remember what to say, and bursts of inferiority feelings fired in my nervous system and it was aggravated when my father directed me, and his other pupils, in sixth grade and I did not remember what to exclame as a sheperd finding the humble manger of Jesus, under the blazing star. The soufflé voice of the director whipped me as a whip and I wished I just could vanish - evaporate, but I was firmly situated in front of the public - the laughing parents of my classmates. Since then I hated the stage, at University I couldn´t make a speech, never tried, made a fool of my self, lit to the gills, entering the stage at the seventh semester at Karolinska as an actor in the farcicalness Jesus Christ Superstar - total disaster.
But my subcounciousness and its mystical forces made me open and manage a music hall in Visby, Bingers Kvarn, and later at Roslagshus in Östhammar, where the touring Swedish musicians came to play, while I myself stayed in the shadows behind the scene taking care of the artists bodily needs.
But I newer stopped playing the Music and secretly dreaming of entering the stage. At my art exibitions I played my songs, old Swedish folk Music and own compositions but not until I entered the webcam stage I felt at ease.
Miracles happen. Freedom is real. I was reborn in perfect time.
Today I am free on stage - in “jazzociations”, to take off in perfect time and like Thor Heyerdahl I have come to love my phobia - to be on stage - and in addition to that I’m ready to exhibit my artwork from the different periods of my life. Water Color, Spray Can Brush, Acrylics and Ink - collected by myself, as a dentist and presentated here, in my web gallery.
Inspired by the younger generation I will embark on a public journey - into the world of Art - my sole income, my survival - my fortune - the sparks from the tarot-battle of the Magus and the 7-th Sword - in the new world order - where the digital stage opens up - in all its might´- we are all digitalized.
Unafraid, and free - here I come.
Hope you´ll find my artwork worthwhile.
Salve
Tomas Brusell
